Fuckin Technology

When I lose my phone, I always use someone else's phone, or my own house phone to call it and see if it is at the bottom of my car. But I can never decide whether to listen on the phone I'm calling from to make sure the phone is getting a signal, and it rings. I have to really listen for my phone because my cell phone is ALWAYS on vibrate. Vibrate- it's just the best setting! I can tell you so many reasons why- it's quiet, and not annoying; vibrating is ALWAYS a good thing! Doesn't it always make you smile? And you say, "I'm vibrating!" LOL. Also, I can never get my phone to ring and vibrate at the same time, especially with the same vibrating intensity.

So I'm listening on my own house phone, and it rings, and put my ear up to all the seats in the cars,but I kept hearing ringing coming from inside my house phone. And everytime I heard that sound I got a little excited even though it didn't mean ANYTHING. then it was, back and forth, and over and over. I'm pretty damn sure it wasn't in there. But it sure took me a long time to be sure.

I hate how technology gets you into trouble, like when you can't find your phone for a while, and people get really mad, and say they thought you could have been dead. But you're just like, before there were cell phones you would have just waited. And you wouldn't have been mad. Fuckin technology.

So I lose my phone, and I feel naked--at this point, I wonder if my mom tried to call. And she tried ALL night because she got worried about where I was, and when she couldn't reach me, she was reporting me missing, and calling whoever you call when you want them to look for someone. What if that was happening?!

Well it wasn't. And I'm safe. But naked, without my phone. :(

No smiles from vibrations.

I just realized that Cruella never really went away. I have been making all of these improvements, but Cruella still pops up. She criticizes the "old me" and now I just find versions of myself to criticize. And for some reason I like that. Everything seems so much better if I could drop this critical part. I don't know why but I'm not looking forward to this period after graduation.


Sometimes I don't want to publish these depressing blogs. But I think it is kinda interesting to look at, and be like " That's what being depressed is like" Good to know.

So like I said, I would like be able to enjoy things right now, instead of feeling really unsure about everything, and letting that drag me down.

my vlog idea

I kind of want to start a vlog-- you know with video, where I sit and talk to the camera.

Well, I think if I had a vlog, all the stuff I want to talk about, would get me into more trouble.  Like me wanting to show my pipe on camera, and show I dug the resin out.  I really want to show that.  wouldn't that be cool to see.  But I think that would be worse than just me talking about it here.  I mean the authorities probably wouldn't catch me, but my parents probably would.

And I'm really afraid of that.  

But now I think that everything that happens in life is just funny, and worth recording/writing down, and using later.  But instead of doing it twice- or planning, writing, and then shooting, just record it now.  save myself some time.  make it more authentic- and easy to make money off of. 

Ever since I saw "Reality Bites" i decided that my life really should be a documentary.

I mean, screw these College Life people, I wish I was doing that.

Man, I gotta do that.

I think this video is pretty much genius:

I live in Longmont with my mom, of course I do drugs

That is my defense.  I think it's pretty legit, it would hold up in court.

2L2Q

But, tomorrow that ends.  Tomorrow, 4/20, I won't smoke pot anymore.  I will have a job.  And maybe I won't be a virgin.

Well it looks like the first day of the rest of my life. 

Listening to: Toy Soldier by Britney Spears

I will post a picture of my totaled car soon...

So, I crashed my car recently.  

Not like a couple days ago, like a month ago.  And with the help of my grandfather, and my dad I got a new car (new-used car).  

But my parents and everyone (family) are really talking about "doing things while you're driving."  Mainly texting and talking on the phone.  THESE ARE VERY BAD THINGS TO DO.

Thank the dear Lord I was not texting when I crashed.  I really wasn't, I'm not even lying.  (I really don't like to lie.)  If I had been texting they would have been so mad!

But really, its like they think I'm more retarded because I crashed while I was paying attention to driving.  (... and let me tell you, I can sometimes figure out really weird things to do while I'm driving...)  So should I feel worse?

So, it's not just phones, my mom is really being gung-ho about everything.  She told me not to smoke while I drive.  But I feel like, I really like doing that, and even more-- they can't make a law that you can't smoke while you drive.  I feel like they would try to put it in with the phone law, but then the law would have to be called "No holding things while driving."  And that just sounds really weird.

"Do you brush your teeth before you kiss?"  

~ Damien Rice

Snowy Day

Here's what it looked like out today.  Although it was supposed to be much crappier.